The Gift

the perfect nightmare

Isabel shrieked and sat bolt-upright in bed, sweat was on her forehead and a sense of genuine terror in her green eyes.

The mood at breakfast this morning was kind of tensed. While her mother and father were kind enough to leave Isabel alone in her unhappy mood her younger brother David was far too curious.

“Well, what did you dream?” he asked cheerfully, “Who’s going to die?”

His mother cast him a warning glance he expertly ignored while watching Isabel fixedly.

“Nobody is going to die.” she informed him at last and sighed deeply.

“Then – why the long face?” David asked, raising his sandy eyebrows in surprise.

“I dreamed of my marriage.” his sister proclaimed theatrically and he dropped his spoon: “What?!”

He stared at her, at first incredulous, but realised she was serious, and started to grin in a rather obnoxious way.

Isabel had always had the gift of foresight.

This remarkable talent had come to her through her fathers’ side of the family; he was of old Irish stock and quite proud of it.

Isabel had by now gotten quite used to being very seldom taken unawares by accidents, visitors or presents. When she had been about seven years old, she had been sulky almost every morning at the breakfast table for months because the dream of her getting a pony just wouldn’t come.

Since she wasn’t the first in the family who could see the future, her parents did not make a fuss about it, but her brother David who was curious as hell could never stop himself from asking impertinent questions.

“Well…” he grinned at last, “Who’s the fortunate man to take you home?”

Isabel shot him a fuming stare: “This is definitely no laughing matter, Davy.”

She called him thus, knowing he detested it and since he realised she was really mad with him, he refilled her cup with tea and smiled, a vain attempt to calm her.

“Ok, I get it – but tell me anyway.”

“It’s Devon Caulfield!” it broke out of her and the entire breakfast party stared.

“But – you hate Devon!” her mother finally ventured and Isabel let fall her head to the table.

“That’s the point!” they heard her mumble.

“And you are sure it was your wedding you dreamed of?” David enquired and she raised her head and now there was a discomforting grin on her face: “Well, since Mom and Dad were there and Dad led someone in a white dress to the altar, it was either mine or yours.”

avoiding the unavoidable

A few days had passed since the startling dream and Isabel had gained back at least some of her usual composure. Reading had helped a lot to hold away unpleasant thoughts as it had always done and now she cast a longing glance at her book and grimaced.

It could not be helped – she had promised to join Samantha in the park and thus she had to go. Hesitating for a moment she finally put the book into her large handbag and went out.

It was a bright sunny day, the air was full of fresh smells and many different noises and as Isabel entered the park, she immediately saw that it was full of people. There were some elderly and some young people, but mostly mothers with their lively offspring and the lot of them was unbelievably noisy.

The green grass was nearly completely covered with colourful blankets, and as she tiptoed her way around Isabel was looking about her with an expression of helpless frustration on her face. How was she supposed to find anyone in this mass of people?

It looked like a giant pizza with way too much topping.

Samantha’s voice eventually reached her ear and as she jerked her head around she saw her sitting in the cool shade of an enormous tree, standing only a few paces away from her. Isabel sighed relieved and joined her, almost stepping on the tail of an evil looking dog that was asleep in the gentle Mai sun.

Isabel sat down with a plump next to her friend and announced that she detested nothing as much as crowded places.

“I know.” Samantha answered airily and a dreamy expression came into her eyes: “But look who’s here!”

Isabel knew who was meant, even before she looked into the direction of Samantha’s pointed finger – it just had to be Devon. She closed her eyes as if in acute pain and muttered something beneath her breath.

Knowing Samantha was completely occupied with looking like a dizzy sheep at Devon; Isabel pulled close her handbag and opened her book.
 

Devon Caulfield meanwhile had reason to believe himself irresistible. He had come to the park with the intention of playing football with some of his friends but had given the idea up at sight of the occupied grass. They had settled down on one of the last vacant spots and Devon had found himself surrounded by female admirers. He was now flirting busily and finally his eye came to rest on Isabel. He knew her to be the only girl seemingly indifferent to his charms but since he strongly believed her to be secretly in love with him he found her hostile behaviour rather amusing. From time to time he even let fall words that were calculated to extract from her one of her cutting remarks. He did so now and Isabel who had heard him very well bit her tongue. She had figured out it would be impossible to marry someone she didn’t even talk to and decided never to talk to Devon Caulfield ever again.

He raised his dark eyebrows in surprise as she didn’t retort and was silent for a while before trying once again to claim her attention. Since she was sauciest when he flirted with her friends he got up and moved towards her and Samantha who drew in a quick breath of delight.

“Hello Samantha.” he smiled and sat down next to her, “Reading again, Isabel?”

Finally she looked up but there was nothing of the withering stare he had gotten used to.

“Novel, isn’t it?”

She continued reading and he was irritated.

“Oh, she’s always reading.” Samantha interposed, blissfully aware of the fact that she was enviously eyed from most of the surrounding girls.

“Her brother calls her Miss Read-a-lot.”

She smiled engagingly up to him and ignored Isabel who was clearing her throat scornfully.

“He does?”

Devon waited for Isabel to shut her book and tell him to go and exasperate someone else and was bewildered as she still continued reading.

Certainly she had to feel unwell.

“Isabel, you shouldn’t read when you’ve got a headache.” he said softly and she cast him a perplexed look but still refrained from talking to him.

This was something unheard of.

For a moment he was really concerned whether she was all right.

Isabel finally put away her book but Devon had no reason to be pleased.

“Sam, it’s too loud here – can’t we go somewhere else?” Isabel asked quietly and Samantha who had realized that Devon showed far too much interest in her friend nodded and got up.

“Bye Devon.” she said and smiled at him but there was not even a glance from Isabel as she left him behind. She was relieved to have escaped and sighed. It had been hard to hold her tongue, even more so because he had evidently tried to provoke her.

first steps towards destiny

It took Devon a few weeks to realize that he had lost whatever relationship that he had once had with Isabel.

He saw her less often than he had been used to and on the few occasions they met she hardly ever spoke to him. Devon was used to getting everything he wanted and although he had so far never even remotely thought about wanting Isabel he definitely could not let her get away with this.

Maybe she didn’t just pretend to … dislike him – maybe she really did. After all, she never even once had tried to flirt with him like all the other girls did – at least not in the standard definition of flirting. She just looked him straight in the eyes – very straight that was – and told him what a prize idiot he was. He had always thought that rather captivating … but if she had been serious-! All the other girls liked him – why not Isabel as well? He hadn’t been very nice to her when they had been about twelve – had it been twelve? Gosh! They really knew each other for ages! And she had been so tall and talked so droll. When he had asked her why it was she missed classes so often she had answered: “I won’t tell you about my dreams!”

It had been such an odd thing to say. Maybe he shouldn’t have teased her about it – for months.

Was that the reason? Had he managed to hurt her? She had always been so peculiar… He never would have thought – she never had missed classes afterwards though.

So apparently she really hated him – had hated him ever since they had been twelve. He wondered how she had been able to keep it up for so long. After all, he had become quite gorgeous over the years. She had to be pretty determined to despise him.

Although he admired such staying power he felt rather uncomfortable with the idea. It just didn’t seem right. She should be as desperately in love with him as everybody else. In fact he would make her. That would teach her a lesson. No girl – no matter how strong willed or weird she was – had any prospect to resist a full attack of his charms.
 

It was half past four in the afternoon and Isabel was lying on the bed reading the last chapters of her book.

Just when the hero was about to chop off either his own head or that of his enemy, her brother bounced in upon her, grinning like a lunatic.

“There is a gentleman who desires speech with you.” he drawled and her nose wrinkled in perplexity: “What?!”

“My future brother-in-law is downstairs and expresses the insatiable desire to see you.”

“Are you telling me, Devon Caulfield is downstairs?”

“Have you lately dream-married anyone else?”

Isabel got up and closed her book. She passed by her brother, kicking him as she did so and went unimpressed down into the living room where she stumbled on Devon. He saw her evident surprise and smiled, for he was rather pleased with himself.

“What do you want?”

She looked at him not at all pleased and now he could be absolutely certain she did not like him the least and was indeed rather taken aback.

He put a grip on himself and kept on smiling.

“Well, I’ve hardly talked to you lately and – I’ve missed you.”

She blinked rapidly then frowned: “Missed me?”

“Is it so hard to believe?”

He settled his long length in a chair and looked mockingly up to her.

“What exactly have you missed?” she asked, her eyes were fixed on his face.

“Your lectures, what else?”

“So I thought.”

She nodded gravely.

“Now there’s nobody left to remind you of the fact that you are not Superman.”

“Superman? I’m no hero in tights!” he grinned.

“You are no hero whatsoever!” she shot back, “But wait, maybe you are Spiderman – something of a nasty insect.”

His grin widened: “Spiders are no insects.”

“I don’t give a damn.”

There was this little twinkle in her eyes he had definitely missed.

“I don’t want to be Spiderman – I see myself rather like Aragorn.”

“Aragorn?”

The twinkle in her eyes grew.

“And I thought you had understood that whole cleanliness concept!”

“Hey, that man became king!” – “He was dirty almost nine hours of film and he didn’t look comfortable after they had cleaned him up.”

She smirked and suddenly remembered whom she was talking to.

“Now get out!” – “What?”

“I told you to get out!” – “But why?”

He smirked: “Afraid I might try something? Not with your brother in the house.”

Isabel suppressed the urge to kick him where it really hurt and decided he was not worth it.

She turned around and left him and went back upstairs into her room.

“Very nice…” she unexpectedly heard his voice behind her and jumped around, “I have never been to your room before.”

“You’ve never talked to me for more than two minutes – thank goodness! – And now get out!”

He seemed not to have heard, for he went to the window and sat down on her desk like someone who was invited and smiled in a way that Isabel wished she had an axe in her closet.

“Devon.”, her voice was strangely calm, “What do you want?”

His smile became gentle.

“I have the intention of gaining your – affection.”
 

“He never said that!”

David was incredulous.

“Yes he did!” his sister moaned from under her blanket and suddenly wriggled free. The expression akin to loathing on her face forced a suppressed laugh from David and he hastily bit his tongue.

“But why?” – “I don’t know!”

“Maybe he likes you?” – “He does not like me.” she said with passion, “He just wants to drive me nuts! If he’d like me, he’d leave me alone.”

“But if he really is as self-centred as you say, he wouldn’t care that you – er – abhor him.”

Isabel gave some consideration to that and finally shook her head.

“No. It’s something else. I’m convinced it is.”

“Well, you better find out before he – gains your affection. Although I really don’t see what would be the point in that. If you dreamed of marrying him, married you will be. You should know best.”

She shook her head like a wilful child: “No. This is my gift – I will use it against him.”

doomed

Isabel succeeded in evading Devon for two days but on the third she suffered a severe blow as Samantha told her with a beaming smile that Devon had accepted an invitation to her birthday party.

“But he hardly knows you!” Isabel exclaimed in horrified wonder and Samantha suddenly looked rather annoyed.

“I know you don’t like him.” she said flatly, “Which I don’t even attempt to understand – but I do like him and you could at least try to be happy for me!”

“I’m sorry but I will never be able to support you in your foolish pursuit of this spoiled womanizer.” Isabel answered with some determination.

“He is not a womanizer! He – he just hasn’t met the right one yet…” Samantha insisted, trying in vain to defend her darling hero.

“And will probably never do so because that would put an end to his flirting with every girl who can’t make it out of the room in time.” Isabel concluded.

Samantha thought it wisest not to give an answer to this.
 

The party fell on the following evening, the house was quite packed and Isabel thought there was a good chance to hide herself from Devon in this gathering of people.

She spent most of the evening with Samantha’s elder brother Colin. He had been the one to introduce movies into her attempts to take her mind from disquieting dreams. They had the same taste in books and movies and could spent hours together, reciting. They were just re-enacting their favourite scene from “First Wives Club” and had assembled quite an audience when Isabel discovered Devon amongst the watchers.

On his face was an expression of growing wonderment. He had most certainly never before seen her in such an amiable mood.

As soon as he had met her gaze, he crossed the room in a few steps and sat down on the sofa right next to her. She suppressed a sigh and ignored him while he and Colin exchanged greetings.

Devon smiled at her frosty bearing and asked whether he could fetch her something to drink.

“No, thank you, I’m fine.” she replied grimly and turned her back to him, addressing Colin: “I’ll go and search for Sam.”

She got up and went to the kitchen. Searchingly looking around she found out that Devon had followed her and met his placid smile with a frown: “What do you want again?”

“I want to search for Samantha, too. I haven’t yet congratulated her.” he replied, still smiling and pulled her arm through his: “Let’s search together!”

Isabel was at first too astonished to react according to her character and allowed him to drag her outside to the terrace where she eventually pulled her arm away.

There were few people around and therefore she felt little reason to lower her voice and almost barked at him: “Can’t you put an end to this nonsense?! Since you only succeed at infuriating me you might as well stop!”

His smile widened: “You look so very pretty when you are angry that I’m very tempted to carry on.”

This left her without knowing what to say for a moment and as her eyes met his she almost believed him to be sincere. His feeling of victory didn’t last long though. Suddenly, she laughed and smiled amusedly up to him: “I know where you read that!”

He was puzzled, having no recollection whatsoever of reading anything of the like but forgot to tell her so, when the mock in her eyes vanished and was replaced by fondness. It wasn’t him she was looking at though, it was Colin.

“Here you are!” he smiled and put his arm around Isabel in a friendly way, “Not found Sam yet?”

Devon’s face became sulky all of a sudden and neither Isabel nor he had any explanation for this. Colin thought it meanwhile very interesting to find out that Devon was by all outward appearance jealous. The commonly know womanizer would find Isabel a hard nut to crack, of that he could be sure.

“I believe I have seen Sam upstairs.” Colin said and gently dragged Isabel along with him. Devon ground his teeth and followed, determined not to let another go off with his prey.

They spent the rest of the evening very much like this: Colin making up excuses for moving with Isabel to a different spot, Devon following them on the brink of strangling the other boy.

Isabel only noticed that Devon got more and more gloomy the more the night advanced but since Colin seemed to be in exceptionally high spirits she didn’t care at all.

The companionship of the two guys quite exhausted her and by two o’clock she decided to go home.

“Shall I take you home?” offered Colin as usual, but Devon put his arm around Isabel’s shoulders in a possessive manner and pulled her close: “I will take her home!” he almost brawled at Colin who chuckled and nodded: “I thought so.”

my favourite part of the game - the happy end

David gazed at his sister and didn’t know what to make of her facial expression. They were having breakfast together and since it was rather late, their parents weren’t around.

“Did you have fun last night?” he eventually asked and his sister’s grin almost became alarming.

“Devon took me home.” she explained gleefully and he started.

“And this is a reason to be pleased?”

“He was in a very bad mood.”

There was a naughty twinkle in her eyes and David relaxed: “What did you do to him?”

“I? I did precisely nothing. It was Colin.”

David did not understand: “What did Colin do to him?”

“He acted as if he had gained my affection.” Isabel disclosed with a chuckle and David broke into sudden laughter: “But he is-“

“I know!” Isabel exclaimed, her eyes filled with laughter, “But Devon doesn’t! He took me home after the party and as soon as we had left the house, he told me he could not stand Colin at all and that he refused to understand why I allowed ‘that fellow’ to hover all over me.”

“So he is jealous!” David concluded and Isabel nodded slowly.

“Strange to say so, but it seems he really is! The thing is that at the party I didn’t even notice what Colin was up to! He continuously changed our location and every time he did so Devon looked as if he wanted to kill somebody! It was so very droll!”

She broke into delighted laughter and David begged her to continue her story.

“What did you answer him?”

“I told him that Colin and I were friends as long as I could remember and that he was the man I could trust most – that almost made him furious!”

“I believe it did!” David nodded and refilled their cups with tea, “If the girl I liked told me something like that I would be furious, too.”

“He then told me he would have thought me wiser than to place my trust in some narrow-chested cheesecake and I slapped him.”

“You slapped him?”

“Well, he deserved it. But he took no offence. I believe, he thought it to be a gesture of affection. He looked like he did.”

Isabel’s eyes nearly brimmed over with merriment.

“I pointed out that trust was no matter of the other person’s physical ability and that I had so far been very happy with Colin’s conduct.”

David chuckled: “What did he answer?”

“Nothing. He asked whether I disliked athletics in general or if it was just him. I told him it was just him.”

Isabel took her cup of tea and drank in silence before she continued: “He said he had thought so and told me he believed he knew why I had taken him in so strong a dislike.”

David grinned. He knew his sister well enough to have grown accustomed to her taking people into strong dislike for little or no reason at all.

“What did you answer?” - “That I was glad! That left him completely bamboozled!”

She laughed again and he shook his head: “The poor guy! Do you really have to tease him so much?”

“Of course I have! He’s so much fun to tease!”

There was a resounding knock on the door and David got up to answer it. He brought back Devon with him and wasn’t surprised as Isabel greeted him with an amused nod and invited him to sit down and have breakfast with them. David left them alone pretty soon and it was Devon who took it upon himself to start the conversation. Isabel was in high spirits and gave him a pretty tough time, talking of Colin all the time and the wonderful present he had made his sister the previous evening.

Devon looked at Isabel and bared his teeth: “Which reminds me, I have a little something for you.”

He got up and went to where he had left his coat and came back with a little gift-wrapped box.

Isabel looked first at him and then suspiciously at the box: “What’s that?”

“It’s a gift.” Devon explained tranquilly and Isabel frowned at him: “What is it?”

“You will find out, I guess, as soon as you bring yourself to open it.”

Isabel’s frown deepened: “I don’t want it.”

The composed appearance vanished, Devon looked annoyed: “Why not?”

“I don’t want to be indebted to you.” Isabel answered with emphasis and took a sip of tea and Devon smiled somewhat exhausted: “And why is that?”

“Cause I don’t like you.”

The twinkle came to her eyes and he nodded slowly: “That’s why I’m giving you this: I want to make you like me.”

“I don’t want you to make me like you; I want you to leave me alone.”

Devon pretended not to have heard and put the box on the table in front of her: “Aren’t you curious?” – “No, actually I’m not.”

She couldn’t suppress a grin: “And I don’t think you have even the slightest idea concerning my taste and I want to spare myself a disappointment.”

She took another sip of tea and the twinkle grew.

“I think you would be surprised.” Devon answered smirking, “You see: I’m quite determined to overcome your antipathy and to gain your affection.”

Isabel choked at that and Devon patted her back before continuing: “That’s why I started an inquiry amongst your friends.”

Her eyes became very wide: “I beg your pardon?”

Devon’s teeth showed now white in a true smile: “I wanted to give you something you would really enjoy – therefore the inquiry – and I think I found you the perfect thing. Now open it.”

He took the box and put it into Isabel’s hands and encountered her withering stare unblinkingly: “You are such a scourge.”

”Yeah, whatever. Open it.”

Isabel surrendered to the unavoidable and removed the wrapping, amusedly discovering from the inexpert state of it that Devon must have done it himself. She opened the box, blinked three times and put down the lit rather uninterested.

“Are you making fun of me?”

Devon gave her an innocent, childlike look: “Why?”

“This box is empty.”

It was now Devon’s turn to blink: “Empty?”

“Empty. The opposite of full.”

He snatched the box from her hands and looked inside. It really was empty! But where could it have gone? He had wrapped this stupid box himself! He could never have forgotten to put that thing inside! Could he?

“Wait here! Don’t move!”

He got up and ran out while Isabel serenely refilled her cup of tea with the last drops of the teapot. Devon was back after the quarter of an hour and fell panting on his chair. He reached out his arm to Isabel who made no attempt to take the box he was holding out to her but raised her eyebrows acting surprise: “What’s that?”

“Not that again! I don’t know how it found its way out of the box but it’s inside it now! Just open it!”

She smiled impishly and opened the box and slammed it shut again as fast as she could.

“So?” Devon asked, still a little out of breath, “What do you think?”

Isabel looked him straight in the eyes: “I’m terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.”

He gently took the box out of her hands, removed the lid, and gave it back to her.

“Stay calm and take a closer look please.”

She did, although she was rather pale, held her breath and took the ring out of its velvet bed.

“That’s Nenya.” she said almost too softly to be heard.

“Indeed. Is Miss Read-a-lot happy to receive jewellery described by her favourite author?”

A sudden change came over her face. For the first time of their acquaintance she showed Devon the look of her unaffected, warm smile and it almost knocked him off his chair.

“Thank you, Devon.” she said, unaware of his troubled feelings, “Did you know I liked Galadriel best?”

“N-no…” he answered with some effort and then smiled, while he fought down the urge to hug her, “I just thought that her ring was the one that fitted you best. You’re not exactly the Arwen-kind of girl.”

“I’m not?”

The fascinating twinkle in combination with that smile was almost unbearable, but Devon just could not look away.

“No, you’re not. I fear you’re much more dangerous.”

She looked surprised and he added: “You have that same weird quality about you – this air of wisdom, as if you knew something nobody else does.”

Now she laughed and patted him on the shoulder and at the thunder like strike that went through his body, he realized that his plan had backfired.

“You know that I can’t accept this ring.” Isabel eventually said and put the ring back into the box. Devon looked not only surprised but hurt.

“Why not?”

She couldn’t believe that his innocence wasn’t feigned: “This ring is far too valuable – apart from what it implies!”

“But I want you to have it! I bought it for you, so the prize should be of no concern to you and I don’t give a damn what it implies!”

Isabel had never before seen Devon loosing his composure so completely. He seemed to be angry and terribly sad at the same time and although she was still quite convinced that she didn’t like him, she’d never wanted him to be sad.

“But Devon…” – “No! This is a present! I know that you like it, so why don’t you just take it? It’s not like I asked you to marry me!”

Isabel experienced the unpleasant feeling of being thrown into icy water and didn’t know what to reply. It felt as if her lips were glued together.

“I know that I haven’t always been very nice to you and I’m really sorry about that! Can’t you please at least try to forgive me?”

Isabel just gazed at him. He sounded almost desperate.

For the first time she didn’t know what to make of Devon’s behaviour. She avoided his fierce stare and got up and went to the stove.

“There is nothing to try.” she said more coldly than she had intended, as she put water on to boil. She heard him getting up from his chair and knew he was now standing immediately behind her.

“There isn’t?”

At the sound of his voice she turned around and looked intently up to him. There could be no mistaking this time. Although she had no explanation why or how she had managed to – she had really hurt him.

Her mother had often told her that she possessed the doubtful talent to hit people at their innermost core and she was definitely right; in spite of this however Isabel never missed making up for it.

Therefore what she did now was the most ordinary thing to do for her: she put her arms around Devon, pulled him close and told him she was sorry. He cuddled up to her and she smiled against her will and patted his back.

She had had no idea that apart from being annoyingly handsome and sexy Devon could be overwhelmingly cute as well.

She resisted the temptation of pinching his nose as he let go of her and smiled up to him: “I will take the ring, ok?”

He nodded and smiled back and then all of a sudden leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek.

“You really are dangerous to handle, Bella.”

He was charmed as she blushed and quickly kissed her on the other cheek as well.

His plan had definitely backfired and he was very well aware that he would be absolutely miserable if he failed to convince Isabel of the honesty of his intentions.

He went back to the table, took the ring and made a vain attempt to slip it on Isabel’s finger. She just wouldn’t let him do it.

Instead, she put it on herself, regarded the effect of sunlight playing over it when she moved her hand and then looked hesitatingly up to him.

“Thank you, Devon.” she said with a shy smile that was even worse than the one before because it made him feel the urge to hold her so much stronger.

“You’re welcome.” he wanted to say but stopped in the middle of doing so because she hugged him again. He closed his eyes as he held her tight and sighed delightedly.

This was far too good to be without danger.

Devon had always loved the superficial lightness of flirt because it was a means to steer clear of relationships that required emotional involvement (which he considered too exhausting and not worth the trouble). At the same time he had missed the glorious chance to find the one who was actually worth the danger of emotional involvement.

And now he had found her – not out of the desire for a change or the realisation of his stupidity– but thanks to the titanic size of his ego.

Isabel suddenly started to giggle and looked mockingly up to him: “Confess: you just started being nice to me, because I stopped talking to you, didn’t you?”

He flushed scarlet and stared into her eyes and this time she pinched his nose and chuckled gleefully. Why hadn’t she noticed before that he was nothing but a big child?

She wasn’t capable of despising a child.

“That means it’s my fault entirely, doesn’t it?” she concluded and although he understood only half of her meaning, he nodded.

Isabel smiled tenderly and sighed: “Then I have to take responsibility I guess. Will you let go of me please, so that I can make fresh tea?”

He nodded again and watched her every move as she prepared the tea. The ring on her finger sparkled and he knew he was lost beyond the prospect of rescue as he thought the sparkle in her eyes being infinitely more beautiful.

Yes, she was odd; her vocabulary was sometimes too puffy to be considered pleasing, and her sharp tongue a weapon she obviously liked to use. But she was also honest; she had shown him she possessed as much feeling as she possessed strength of mind and he would go nuts if he wasn’t allowed to see that twinkle at least once a day.