MST: Protége moi von Ziva (or: how an emo was dumped on a CEO) ================================================================================ Kapitel 2: Marching Towards the Inevitable ------------------------------------------ Protège Moi Chapter 2 Seto: OH... oh GREAT, just great! I was just about to.. lean back, relax and lead a happy life, you dam bastards, all of you, and I mean it!! (glares at Anzu, Otogi and Mana, who are standing in the doorframe, holding bags filled with snacks and airplane- sickbags that Mana stole from her plane from Egypt) And what is SHE doing here? (points to Ziva, who is hanging from a weird gadget that seems to be attached to the ceiling and gives the faint impression of having seen it on Sex and the City, however we "promise" that you have not) Ziva: (grins moronically) Don't bother, don't bother, I will be gone in a minute. I just wanted to apologize for the delay. Mana: Yeah, what happened? Ziva: I'm in the UK ... I was reading Anibrix.... (silence) My head was like: Gosh, this is the biggest bullcrap I have ever seen, but I just can not stop reading... Ottaviano: The injuries the stupid moron inflicted on herself took a while to fix. Plus, she is stuffing herself with cakes and ice cream in such quantities, that you would think she would burst, however she does not, she is loosing weight, and busy complaining about her BMI plummeting into bottomlessly deep pits, and I'm pretty sure my english stinks. Antonietta: The whole incident also caused delays on the serious Gundam- shitfics she is taking care of- and do not bother about our english, we are Italian three- headed cats, we were not supposed to be talking in the first place. Ottaviano: We learned to do it, while the idiot was recovering. Ari taught us. Ziva: -.- Yeah, as if that were true. Ari can't say anything save "feed me human flesh" >__> Commentators: O_Ov Ziva: ... hem. Yeah. Whatevs... we.. um... will get going... have fun, and call me once you're done so I can publish it. (jumps off the weird gadget, and walks out of the window, followed by Antonietta and Ottaviano) Commentators: O____O'' Mana: (after running to the window, and staring at the group from hell, being carried away by a small convoy of Gunner Zakus and one CGUE D.E.E.P Arms) ... Whatever THAT was. Well, let the games begin!! Everyone else: (growling at Mana) Serenity and Joey had to hurry to get the school bus. Seto: Wait a minute... they STILL go to school together and everything...? I mean... if the cow was still blind, I'd get it, but that way... what kind of hip high school girl would still walk to school with her dorky brother? Anzu: Serrrreeeetiiitiiiii? Mana: Anzu is talking weird. Otogi: Looks confunded too.. Anzu: (smiles and waves at everyone with an idiotic look on her face) Mana: It must be that crazy people from before... they must be aliens! Seto: How does some 3000 year old egyptian chick know about aliens ? Otogi: You obviously never watched Stargate. Joey had been sleeping too long again, and while she tried to wake him, Serenity had needed so much time that they couldn’t have breakfast. Well, she had had enough time to drink a cup of tea, but that was everything. Anzu: Look, she's anorexic. Seto: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. If she had time to brew tea, which includes bringing water to boil, taking out a cup, putting tea into the cup, and WAITING for it to be ready, then naturally she didn't have time to grab a slice of bread or something. Which essentially requires ten seconds. They had to be very silent in the morning anyway so they wouldn’t wake their father. Seto: another reason why grabbing a slice of bread would have been more reasonable than bringing a kettle to boil. It was always a chaos. They didn’t have breakfast very often. Seto: The only chaos I see, is caused by these poor words, desperately trying to make sense. In the bus they had a little bit of luck at least – they could sit down beside each other. Seto: Great luck. He gets to sit down next to the chick who is basically ruining his life. “Isn’t today start of the mentor-project?” Joey asked. Serenity nodded. Mana: It can nod!!! It can nod! it is capable of normal human behavior!! “Yes… I think I’ll have to take part in it as well… I’m having some troubles with maths”, she said. Otogi: Wait a minute... I thought, the mentor program was established in order to make the plot work... not actually helping anyone with their schoolwork... you know, so that the emo and the CEO could get so-- Anzu: (kicks him) YOU, Master of the Dice have a dirty mind!! Otogi: Coming from YOU that sounds kinda lame... Anzu: And what would you mean by that? “Well, I won’t be able to help you, they didn’t want me at the project.” Joey said bitterly. Seto: And now, let's all act surprised. “They say I should take care of my own problems first. Seto: Oh, they want him to shoot his sister. But some of the others are in the project – Tea, Yugi… Anzu: Yeah, I honestly wonder, why those american shitheads gave me a name that sounds like a hot drink. Thanks for the reminder. Mana: Maybe because they're stupi-- Anzu: Mana, we don't openly insult people, bad authors or whole nations. ... ... Mana: So we insult them closely? Tristan has to look after his own grades, too. Seto: That man has no role in the series, no life and nothing else either. It doesn't come as a surprise that he doesn't have a brain. But I think Duke is in. Otogi: OF COURSE he is! Because he happens to bring sexy back! Anzu: Yeah, true, but what does that have to do with academic achievements? Otogi: ... (coughs) I may not tell you that. You would only hit me again. Anzu: ... disgusting. I bet he’d love to be your mentor.” Joey grinned at her and she hurried to smile. Otogi: I object. He would like to be Shizuka Kawai's mentor. Not the mentor of some brainless wart, who isn't even capable of eating. The imagination of Duke Devlin being her mentor – means spending lots of her free time with her – wasn’t a reason for her to be happy. Anzu: I heard, that there would be Duke- bashing... Otogi: EXCUSE ME? Anzu: Don't bother. We'll bash back. With baseball bats. Duke was after her and she really didn’t like him. Anzu: Making her hate everyone but Seto and her brother makes coupling easy. Mana: Are you suggesting the possibility of incest? But her brother and Duke had become very close friends, so she didn’t want to disappoint Joey by telling him that she couldn’t imagine Duke – or Tristan – as her boyfriend. Seto: Yeah, I would be so disappointed too, if Mokuba did not get it on with the secretaries I like. You wanted someone to protect you. Duke and Tristan would die to take over that job, you know? Otogi: Does anyone else suspect, that we are in a SetoxJoey- fic? she thought. Mana: It can think! Seto: As compared to you, definitely. But she didn’t want either of them to protect her. Anzu: Yeah, sweetie. I kinda hate to break it to you, but no one was really offering... She could need protection from them. Mana: Protection from what? Seto: herself most likely. “Didn’t Duke want to ask you out?” Joey asked. Otogi: Yeah, but that was before it occured to him, that she is completely and utterly dumb. Serenity nodded. Mana: I think, she agrees with you. “He was just about asking me when Kaiba came by and told him something not very nice. Anzu: Seeing ho obviously Kaiba has no idea what is going on around him, and frankly gives a shit, it bites me, why he would do that. Duke started a fight and then he had to go to the nurse.” she told Joey. Mana: And of course, being the big, violent lover he is, Seto beat him up. Anzu: Yeah, Kaiba and his overflowing hormones, we all know his nasty little temper, do we not? (rolleyes) Joey looked as if he had eaten something rotten (not that he would notice, but hey, it’s only a saying). Anzu: I believe that someone like Joey would not notice if he was chewing on something that is busy decaying. But he is japanese, so he might be eating Natto, which is supposed to taste that way. “Don’t even mention that jerk.” he said. Mana: ... to quote Terra... everytime I try to think, it makes my head hurt even worse... Seto: Ahh, FFVI. How I would prefer playing it to reading this. Anzu: Nerd. “Sorry, Joey.” she answered and looked out of the window. Who would be her mentor? Anzu: Alternatively: Who is retarded enough, not to be able to guess? 
She really hoped it would be Tea. Yugi was a good student, but he was no teacher. And Duke as her mentor?
A nightmare! Mana: So there are only like three spossibilities? Small school. Seto: No, it's because all of the others are even more retarded than she is. Mana: Does she attend a school for trolls? 
And she needed someone who really understood the maths-crap. Everything else didn’t matter. Anzu: According to this it could be anyone who is good at maths. Whether she likes them or if they are appropriate or capable of teaching. Therefore, all of the above are suitable. Which in turn means, that out bubble- headed vacuum chick is contradicting herself. “Hey, Serenity!”
She gulped. Great… Absolutely great!
The nightmare had started. She turned around to see Duke standing behind her. Anzu: And what exactly is so nightmare-ish about duke? Mana: Nothing, he's like this evil foe, who does nothing, but exist. Yet he's told to be incredibly evil and must be destroyed. Seto: ... Or it's just because she gets a headache whenever she talks to people who have brains. “Hey, Serenity, I’ll probably be your mentor!” he said beaming. She smiled shyly. “Er… Joey told me, yes…” Probably? Things are getting worse… Anzu: What exactly is bad about the poor guy. He seems normal enough. Seto: Yeah, I bet exactly THAT is the problem. 
”I can help you with everything, grammar, languages, economics, maths…” Duke started. “Maths? You really understand maths?” she asked. Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. Anzu: But... see: He's useful. Why bash him? Mana: Because he stands in the way of the ship that has nothing to feed on whatsoever. Except delusions. “Well, I’m running a shop, of course I understand maths.” Duke said and put a hand on her shoulder. Seto: That does not prove anything. People who could not even read used to run shops. “You’ll see, there’s no-one in the whole grade who could beat me at maths!”
”Well, Devlin, actually that’s a lie!” It was Tristan who had come by as well. “Oh, tell me one person who’s better at maths than me!” Duke shouted at Tristan. “I think Kaiba is, isn’t he?” Tea said. Anzu: If it weren't for the fact that you don't need any brains at all to have guessed that, I'd say, cookies for the one's who were able to guess. Seto: And you don't want to blow your college money on cookies. “Well, she happens to be right!” Tristan confirmed “And why can’t you take someone who’s actually taking part in the class? That jerk doesn’t even show up regularly!” Duke shouted. Anzu: But as he is a CEO and such a genius and blabla, of course it doesn't affect his grades, sure, sure... what a guy.. what a guy.. Seto: So much sarcasm, I'm impressed. “Please, you guys, calm down.” Serenity said. “Listen to Serenity, dice-head!” Seto: Not THAT'S what I call a serious insult. “You’re the one who’s making trouble, spike-hair!” Seto: And next, they're gonna have a huge brawl... with paper cards. “Please… guys…”
”Can’t you see that you’re disturbing her, Devlin?”
”The only one disturbing is you, Taylor!” Serenity sighed. “Please, be quiet, both of you.” she asked. Anzu: That would really be appreciated. This is getting too boring... I mean "long". But they didn’t even listen to her and just continued shouting at each other. She sighed again. How long could a bus-ride be? Seto: Alternate question: How long can a fanfiction chapter be? “Good luck, nii-sama!” Mokuba said when they got out of the limousine and went to the school building (junior high school was in the same building as the normal). Seto: How interesting. Remind me again, why do we care? Anzu: We don't. “I don’t need luck for these cradle-group-tests, Mokuba.” Seto answered in a quite bad mood. “I didn’t talk about the class tests, nii-sama. Actually I thought about the protégé you’ll get. There are some of the school’s worst trouble-makers in that grade.” “Hm… All right, maybe I do need luck.” Seto admitted. Mana: Considering that you're stuck with someone even worse than these.. "troublemakers"- who problably bully others with dices or paper cards- you need more than luck. Seto: You need a gun. ... who said that? Mokuba smiled. “There are also nice people in it.” They entered the building and Mokuba saw some of his friends. “Okay, see you later. Bye, nii-sama!” he said. “See you.” Seto answered and went to the assembly hall where this mentor-rubbish would be cleared. Anzu: Well, at least Seto is in accordance with us, this whole story is rubbish. Most of his fellow seniors were already there and a lot of freshman. One of the freshman girls spotted him and yelled. “Look! Look! Over there! It’s him!”
The girls around her started to giggle and looked into his direction. Some of them waved their hands. Seto went to the senior students, sat down and waited for the crap to begin. Anzu: Look guys, he's acting exactly the same way we do, every time we come to deal with this fic! Mana: Shh, someone could be offended by your words. “Hi, Kaiba!” someone said. He groaned. Unfortunately he had chosen a place right beside the cradle-group – Yugi and his gang. “Whoa, what’s moneybags doin’ here?” the mutt said. “Well, Joey, he’s got the best average and…”
”The question is what are you doing here, mutt? You’ll fail your own graduation, why do they want you to help someone?” Seto had decided that ignoring them would be totally pointless. “Aarrrghh, you JERK! I’ll take care tha’ ma sister gets a good mentor!” he shouted. Mana: Does anyone else have déja vues? Anzu: Nah, that's only because this dialogue is so 08/15. “Quiet please!”
At last the headmaster had entered. “We’ll distribute the freshmen to the present seniors. We’ve been thinking about this very carefully. There’s no way to change the mentor. All of you got all the information necessary for this project, so we’ll only read out the list. We’ll call the freshman and then the senior. They will stand up and then they can go – I mean, then they will go – to their first lesson. Let’s start. Seto: That's nice. So the SetoxSerenity is not only totally pointless but also totally inevitable. Allen, David – Lex, Mary Andor, Julia – White, Benjamin…” He went on for some time. The hall got a bit emptier. “Hopkins, Rebecca – Muto Yugi Jordan, Alice – Devlin, Duke North, Vienna – Bakura, Ryou Planter, Gina – Karina, Claire” Anzu: Weasley, Ginny..... is anyone else thinking about Harry Potter? Seto: If you exchange every mentor for a house. You're so odd. It went on and on. Seto started to think maybe they had forgotten him. But a little count told him that it would fit perfectly.
He looked around. Great, he was sitting in a nearly empty assembly hall with friendship girl, the mutt and two freshman girls. So he’d have to look after one of them?
This definitely was a crap day. Mana: Wrong, this is definitely a crap chapter, that just won't come to an end. Anzu: Considering, that Serenity claimed that there were so little choices and therefore students, this is taking pretty long. Serenity felt miserable. All the others had left, only she and a friend of hers were left. But still Tea was without a protégé. Yes, Tea would be her mentor… “Terence, Stella – Gardner, Tea.” Seto: Serenity always feels miserable. Anzu: And here goes... 
Her friend stood up and left. She didn’t dare to look to the seniors. Her brother would go mad… The only person that was left… “And finally: Wheeler, Serenity – Kaiba, Seto. That’s it. Good luck.” Mana: Oh no! Romeo and Juliet! Just that Juliet is even more whiny than usual, and Romeo a pathetic wannabe- cool guy. Seto: Are you saying, I'm not cool? Mana: Nah, YOU are. But the guy there is just sad. AN: Same as chapter 1. Thanks for reading! Anzu: ... You don't honestly think, I still remember it, do you? Seto: Well, obviously she does. Anzu: She is very misguided then. Mana: See you next time!!!! *.* Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)