Chapter 15
Chapter 15
Soundtrack: "Because of you" by Kelly Clarkson
Toma laid a hand on Pi's shoulder, he was still looking down the cliff,
where his father had disappeared into darkness. Toma knew that it must
have been hard for him to do such a thing to his own father. It's not
like Toma approved of what he did. But he did it to save him didn't he?
He smiled at Pi warmely.
Then Yamapi turned around, his face in a mixture of shock and
guilt?"Why... are you still here?", Pi began. "You should run. I...
betrayed you, you see?"
Toma didn't know what Pi was talking about. 'He must be confused', he
thought.
"No, I don't. You saved me, didn't you? There still a chance for us
to...", said the prince slowly.
"No, there's not!", answered Pi rather angry, shaking Toma's hand off
his shoulder. He stepped away and his face was expressionless, even
cold. "Don't you understand? I...", began Pi, then he paused.
"I did never love you, you see? I just said this so I had better chances
to free my father. It was never because of you that I came back into the
castle that night. And last night... was fun. But that was all there was
to it. Don't... follow me, okay? It's better for both of us.
Sayounara... your highness.", he said coldly.
Toma stared at him with wide eyes. It hit Toma, and every word felt like
an arrow in his heart. At the end he felt like something was breaking
inside of him. "What...?", he murmured. But Pi just walked around him
and tried to escape.
A sudden anger got Toma and he shouted after him. "Wait, you!" He pulled
the ring off his neck and helt it in his hand. "Why did you even try so
hard? It was all useless...", he laughed bitter, his feelings were a
total mess.
Pi still stood there and watched him. "Why aren't you saying a word, you
traitor?!!", he shouted and approached him angrily. Pi didn't move and
still didn't say a word. His face was still emotionless and Toma got so
angry. With the ring still in his fist he punched Yamapi in the face and
the latter fell down on the hard rock.
"Do you even know how much you hurt me? Do you have ANY idea, what you
did to me?",he shouted as loud as he could and threw the ring hard on
Pi's chest.
Suddenly it began to rain, but Toma didn't care. "I... loved you... with
all my heart... dammit... I trusted you! How... how could you do that to
me?", he spoke with tilted head, his voice almost breaking.
And then he began to run, as fast as he could. He ran, not caring what
direction. He just wanted to leave Yamapi behind, get as far away from
him as possible.
It wasn't long until he found no other place than the castle to come
back. So he went straight to his room. But even there, he could get no
rest. The room and everything reminded him of Yamapi and the night they
had spent here....
Toma had barely entered his room when he turned around and walked back
to the hallway. Finally he settled down in the last corner of the
library in his favorite seat...
"I did never love you, you see? I just said this so I had better chances
to free my father. It was never because of you that I came back into the
castle that night. And last night... was fun. But that was all there was
to it. Don't... follow me, okay? It's better for both of us.
Sayounara... your highness."
Toma could still hear Yamashita's voice echoing in his body, which felt
utterly empty. He felt so lifeless... he didn't know for how long he has
stared at the wall, but he was sure, if he moved, everything would break
down on him.
How could something like that happen? Why? Didn't he love Yamashita? And
didn't Yamashita love him? That was what he had thought at least...but
he got tricked.
Everything was fake. His gentle smile... his soft touches, his pretty
words... everything.
The prince touched his chest, where the ring had been some time ago.
Somehow his skin, where the cold silver had touched it, was burning...
He thought about the moments they had shared, how they had kissed and
hugged and just were together. All this time... He had felt so secure...
he had trusted Yamashita, he had thought that he could become truly
happy together with him. Finally get what he searched for so
desperatly... but all these things were fake...
He couldn't believe it... he had even slept with him! Pi had just used
him... It was just a game for him. A cruel one...
Toma couldn't hold it any longer, the tears started to pour out of his
eyes and the flow just wouldn't stop. He was angry, with himself and
with Yamashita. How could he get fooled so easily? And how could
Yamashita fake those gentle words and this warmth?
He stood up, not knowing what to do... he ran through the corridors
between the book cases, the tears still running down his cheeks. He
wanted to punch him, to hit him, too hurt him as hard as he could....
He pushed the books from the nearest shelf to the ground. Then he punched
against the wall until his hands began to hurt. He leaned his head
against the wall and continued crying silently.
No matter how fury he was, no matter how much he hated Yamashita now...
he still loved him...
His heart was aching with love.
It was unbearable... and he continued crying until there weren't any
tears left....
It was early in the morning when a small figure walked through the dusty
gangways of the library. Maki loved to read a good book in the morning.
She still felt hurt and in pain because of the prince's words. She
needed some distraction... As she strolled through the corridors she
read one or two titles of the books in the shelves.
Finally she reached the last shelf, and as she looked closely, she saw a
book lying on the ground. When she turned around the shelf she found a
bunch of books on the ground and in between was the prince. Sleeping...
dead?
Maki panicked. "Prince Toma!", she hurried over to him and shaked him.
He opened his swollen and red eyes and looked at her. "Maki-san...", he
murmured confused. But then the memories came back...
"Toma-sama, what happened? Were you.... crying?", she asked cautiously.
Suddenly he hugged her tight and began to sob. Maki was taken aback, but
she had no time to get excited or something. The prince was crying and
sobbing in her arms. She couldn't resist, so she hugged him back and
whispered reassuring words into his ear. "Shh... I don't know what
happened to you. And I won't ask if you don't want to tell me...", she
said softly. "But... I will be there for you if you wish,
Toma-sama....", she whispered.
She was glad that she could do something for him.
Toma cried a little longer. He should be embarrassed, he thought for a
second, for crying in front of a girl. But he didn't care at all. All he
wanted was that everything was just a bad dream...
And he felt save in Maki arms, it somehow reminded him of his mother.
Maki was gentle and kind and that although he had hurt her that bad. Now
he knew how it felt... and he really was sorry about it.
This all and even more circled around in his head, as he clinged on Maki
for support.
Sometime, he didn't know when, he let go off her and looked at her.
"I am sorry... for breaking down like that...", he said, his voice
sounding hoarse.
"Don't worry... I'm happy when I can be there for you, Toma-sama", she
said and wiped away his tears gently.
"Thank you... so much... for everything, Maki-san... I ... I don't
deserve your kindness....", he spoke.
"No, don't say that. I told you that I love you, didn't I? I will always
be there for you when you need me, Toma-sama...", she said and blushed
lightly.
Toma hugged her again. It was a miracle that she still was so kind to
him, after what he had said.
"Thank you so much...", he whispered and sighed.
It felt good to have her there with him. It didn't ease his pain much,
but it was better than being alone. And it was good to know that she
cared for him and his pain... and all at once it crossed his mind... She
loved him, she cared for him, no matter what. She wanted him to be happy
and she would stay with him... all he wanted... maybe, he thought... he
should stick with her...
He was sure that he could never forget Yamashita and his love for him.
But if he would stay with the little princess, he wouldn't be alone and
he wouldn't ever be hurt again.
He knew that she would never leave his side and would be with him
forever....
After all, he should have listened to his father, he thought. He should
have never sneaked out of the castle... he should have married Maki
right away when she confessed to him...
If he had done so, he wouldn't have to experience that pain...
And it was that moment, when he knew that he wouldn't search for
dangerous adventures again... he would marry her and be happy with
her... get children... grow old and have someone by his side, who loved
him and cared for him...
He would choose the save path...at last...
[A/N: And I am crying too now, OMG...]