Pained being
Pained Being
A souls cry of agony,
a tortured being for all to see.
What does it take for us to be?
The lifeline in the bloody sea,
Of the emotions and the tears.
When everything that was once feared,
Comes back to haunt the spirit now.
It'll not the one for them to bow.
But even it can only take,
so much that it's own soul not breaks.
And if it will not stop for better...
Then the soul may even shatter.
But destiny decided,
It'll be the one to fight it...
To fight for its own destiny.
As the being it should be.
But abused and pained...
In this wicked life, it fainted...
White Dream
Black is my reality,
shattered my own sanity.
I used to have an open mind,
when everything that could remind,
were red as blood, from my own view...
And I could think of nothing new.
I was bound to my sad past..
and all they did was running fast...
Away from me and blue eyes,
which were since as cold as ice...
I could not handle all the glares,
and my friends did only stare...
I would believe they care for me,
but they were only scared of me...
I used to think I could it bear,
but cause of that I dissappered!
I wished again my dreams were real...
But they weren't I could feel.
What should I do? Where should I hide?
I thought that you would be my light!
But when I heard your pained scream...
I want it to be an pure white dream....
Black Reality
White is the dream I'm dreaming,
so peaceful, calm and healing...
Through him I have some sanity,
Left in my insanity...
I can still feel my heart, it breaks...
Cause you're now gone, for what it takes...
To break my mind, it was not hard...
Took just you and something sharp,...
And shoved it in your pained body,
while everything around was bloody.
And when I was your cause of pain...
I thought I would no more be sane.
But here, in my so calming dream...
I did not hear my conscience's scream.
It was a peaceful memory..
Together, we, just you and me.
I could prevent insanity...
But not this black reality...
Grey Existence
Why must I survive?
When you are no more alive?
Why must I be a broken being?
If only my dream could help me healing...
A broken mind? It can be smoothed.
A broken soul? There is no proof.
The dream, my only light remain...
Is the cause I'm not insane.
But everyone around me,
Were so happy, were so healthy.
I hate that they're alive, not you.
I'm not alive.Not without you.
Just a body does remain...
"A mind" you ask? I am insane!!
I do not want, this life so grey,
So did I start to dayly pray...
That someone would come kill me here..
Just to prevent I dissappear...
And just my body would here stay,
A lifeless shell which get to prayed,
By people, once so close to me...
Cause of the being I used to be...
So healthy, happy, carefree...
Like an honest, cute, small fairy.
Just to shut myself from them...
Cause I feared the eyes of them.
So was I not allowed to face...
The peace's warm and soft embrace,
Cause everything thats done so far...
Left me in the consuming dark....
Cause of your smile...
I was astonished from your smile...
I just forgot then for a while,
My mask to wear and you were shocked,
When everything that was once blocked...
Was suddenly so clear for you,...
My tears, my pain, my love for you.
My broken will, my agony,
and then your endless harmony..
Was shattered in it's ground so deep...
So your soul did start to bleed...
To hurt, to cry, to scream,
Like you're in your cruel'st dream.
Now you seem to see me real...
But did you want this here to feel?
My misery, so bad, so heavy...
My tears for you to see now clearly,
My pain so cruel, so strong,
You ask "Why you? What did you wrong?".
I don't know why or what I've done...
I just know my soul's now shattered,
You're horrified not like it mattered...
Scream
Hear my cry,
I let you scream...
Make sure you die,
You've never seen...
An torture greater,
Feel this pain!
Hopeless praying for some shelter...
Never gain!
A helping hand?
A miracle!
A praying friend?
Just go to hell!
Die now,
Or die an painful death!
Don't know how?
Hold on your breath!
To much pride,
To do as said?
Hear my promise!!!
"Scream instead!!"
I can't
I can't stand the sun,
I can't stand her light no longer...
I can't stand my need to run,
I can't stand you being stronger...
...So I take the gun...
I'm hopeless,
I'm in sorrow...
I'm breathless, still
...tomorrow...
I can't seem to understand,
I can't seem to heal...
I can't seem for me to fend,
My possessions you do steal...
...I die by your hand....
I'm dying,
I'm in sorrow...
I'm crying, still..
..tomorrow...
I'm not one to fight,
I'm not one to press a matter...
I rather am on flight,
Never once will it get better...
Never I'll have might...
I'm dead...
I am now gone...
'Cause I,
...had took the gun...
Lost soul
I lost myself,
I lost my heart...
I got no help,
I fell so hard...
I was searching all along,...
Searching what I missed...
Never found where I belong,...
Never once got kissed....
Never found a loyal friend,
Never found an honest lover...
Never got a helping hand,...
How, say could I recover?
Itpains me just to know,..
that noone ever loves me...
I want but don't know how,
To get one to accept me...
But never it'll be the case,
Noone comes and loves me...
All I ever chased,
...was a dream so lonely....
My heart already shattered,
My mind already bowed...
My spirit oh so battered,
My soul's lost in a crowd...
Of drunken souls and broken hearts,
Of suff'ring minds and spirits..
Which put up a relieable guard,
to shield from spietfull idiots......
