Second Chance? von Yayoi ================================================================================ Second Chance? Author: Gattler (QueenMillenia@gmx.de) Rating: P-14 Copyright: All characters belong to WEP Remarks: This fanfic was written for the Cabin Challenge on Trista's Page (www.badlander.de) Actually, this is my very first fanfic in English Started: 22.10.2004 Finished: 23.02.2005 *** Trista returned after a long day hunting to her little cabin at the border of a wide meadow with tall light-green grass. The cabin was very old and decayed, but Trista had no intentions to renovate it. It was safer, if her home looked like an old, left cabin, which was uninteresting to everybody, who passed it. She lived there since nearly five months now, and no human or outrider being has ever come here. But today, she sensed that something was different. She halted a moment, listening, but she could not locate any strange noise or smell. 'Ah, there's nothing!' she said to herself and shouldered her bag. 'I should at last stop seeing ghosts everywhere!' With a little smile she headed for her home. Today she had really been successful. Two squirrels had tapped into her traps; she had shot one turkey and found a new field of mushrooms and some bilberry-bushes. She now had to start preserving some food for the winter time. She guessed it would become very cold in this area of the New Frontier. No weather satellites controlled this part of planet Durango and therefore she better should be on the safe side if she wanted to survive. She opened the door and was greeted by Panyu, her pitch-black crow. He was her only friend in this lonely place, and he seemed to understand her. One day she found him injured under a big tree as he still was a little bird and Trista decided to bring him up. As he was older and learned to fly she let him come and go whenever he wanted, but he always returned in the evening to spent time with her near the warm fireplace. Trista sometimes thought she could understand some words when he croaked, but it was only her desire to have someone real to talk to, what makes her thinking Panyu could speak. "Shht, shut up, Panyu!" she said softly, as the crow did not stop. She laid her bag on the table and put another piece of wood into the fire. She was not afraid that the smoke would be seen, it got lost between the big fir trees around her cabin. Panyu flew to the table, interested in what Trista had brought home. He snapped one of the bilberries and jumped back on the chair, where he swallowed it. "Hey, you thieve!" Trista shook her head and watched the crow angrily. "You can get out yourself and get some food! You're old enough!" "Kraaah" said Panyu and jumped on the table again to steal another bilberry, but Trista was faster. She grabbed her bag and hided it in a cupboard, where Panyu could not reach it. "You are a friend!" she grumbled. "You could have helped me collecting these berries the whole day instead of hanging around!" Trista put off her jacket, still scolding about Panyu, then she fetched her bag again and started to clean the squirrels and the turkey. A few months ago she had no idea how to do it, but she partially taught it herself and the result was better than she ever thought. *** After Jesse had dropped her, she could not go back to her family, because she had betrayed them in a very bad way. Trista had moved to the underground, lived under the bridge and had a lot of bad jobs in dirty pubs and worse. Even now she still had an ice-cold shiver running down her spine when old memories came back to her mind from time to time, although she tried to hold them down. During this part of her life she failed to make new friends, because she was so depressed and could not get used to her new life in the underground. And the fact, that she could never return to her family made her feeling kind of useless. She missed Jesse, it took her very long to get over him and still she had pain in her heart, when she was thinking about him. Her life turned as she met a vagabond on the market. They started talking as she bumped him, so that he lost his vegetables he just had bought. Trista was so embarrassed about this matter, that she invited him into a café. She would have never invited everybody, but this guy was from the first second somehow sympathetic to her. They talked for hours, he listened to Trista, Trista listened to him. She even was not thinking about it one second, as he asked her, if she wanted to accompany him, wherever his journey guides him. This was her chance to get out of her misery, and the vagabond had a healthy influence on her mind. She learned, that everybody is responsible for his own luck and that every matter, be it good or bad for oneself, has its two sides. "It is up to your own decision which side you prefer" he said, and so Trista learned to see mainly the positive things in her life. She became more grown-up, was not so naïve as before and she learned to stand on her own feet. The vagabond also showed her the basics how to survive in nature, how to make fire without lighters and how to hide. This was very helpful in her new life and she got more used to it, the longer she accompanied the vagabond. One day her mate chose to go another way, but alone. Trista was now ready to start her very own new life. She was not sad, but looked interested and brave to her new future. Since this moment she went through the New Frontier on her own, until she passed this little cabin on planet Durango. It was love at first sight and she decided to make it her new home. The next village was far away, it took her three days to go there. And as this was an uninhabited area, this seemed to be the right place for her. Just two times she had visited the village to buy some needful things. She could also make it in half of the time, but then she would have to climb through the mountains, with all their dangerous gorges, slippy stones, waterfalls and rock falls. Therefore she decided to take the longer, but safer way. The second time she went to the village, Trista brought fruits and nuts, which she had earned in the forest. And she could even exchange the pelt of some rabbits she had shot against three packages of bullets for her blaster. She also bought some medicine, a book about plants and mushrooms and some tins, and she did not forget to buy some candles and matches. Her first shopping tour was successful, but she needed six days for her trip home, because her rucksack was so heavy and she could walk only slowly. Only a moment she was thinking about whether to get her purchase delivered, but then she made up her mind. It was better no one knew where her cabin was, she wanted to stay alone - at least for a certain time. *** She had finished cleaning her food, it just needed to be cooked now. "Panyu, I just got to fetch some water. Do you want to come with me?" But the crow did not pay any attention to Trista, he stuck his head under his wings and pretended to sleep. "You're so lazy!" she sighed and grabbed the pot, which was standing next to the entry. Trista strolled to the nearby runnel to scoop some of the fresh clean water. As she kneeled to the bank, she watched the water running its way. And then she suddenly saw a pale, bloody hand hanging into the water without any motion. A scream came out of her throat. She was frightened and her heart was on rage. She did not know what to do, maybe the person was dangerous. 'But not in this situation!' she corrected herself in her mind. 'Do you really want to let him lie here?' After a few seconds later she had finished the discussion in her head. She slowly went nearer to the unconscious body, carefully setting one food in front of the other. The man laid face-down on the grass, his right arm was over and over spilled with blood, which slowly dropped into the water. Trista fell on her knees and softly touched the man, but he did not move. The skin of this man was very cold, and Trista was afraid, that he was dead. Her hand glided to his throat, where she was searching for his pulse. There it was! She could feel the very faint rhythm of his heart and suddenly she was somehow delighted. "Hey! Wake up!" She shook him a bit, but still there was no reaction. Carefully she turned him to his back.... "JESSE!" she shouted and pulled back her hands as if she burned her skin. Her heart was running fast in her chest and she was a little bit dizzy because of her shock. All her deepest memories and feelings came suddenly back to her and she felt like hit by a steam hammer. When her brain finally started to work again after a few seconds, she bowed carefully over Jesse to put him some cold water in his face. But still there was no reaction. She wanted to help him, and so she grabbed him under his shoulders and pulled him to her cabin. She could not lift him over the runnel, because he was too heavy, and so he became wet. But Trista could not care about this; the most important thing now was to bring him into the warm cabin and to look after his wounds. As she finally had him in her cabin, she checked again his signs of life. His pulse was still faint and flattering, but at least, it was there. She prepared a glass of water with some salt in it to stabilize his circulation; she had heard that this should help. Then she started to undress him on the floor. His complete cloths were wet and bloody, and his skin already felt too cool for being normal. While undressing she recognized some more bad injuries on his body. "Jesse, who did this to you?" she asked worried and fought with her tears arising. On the back of his head he had a big ugly wound, where still blood dropped out. On his arms and legs, there were many scratches as if he fell down somewhere really deep. And to top it all, he had some blaster shots on his body, one near of his heart. She could also feel that some rips were broken, but as far as she knew she could not do anything else than leave it and make Jesse not to move much. Other with his left shin - it was completely broken, but luckily it was a straight fracture. She could not find any splinters around the destroyed bone. 'For luck, he's unconscious' she thought delighted and watched his pale face. 'I guess he never could bear up all this pain. He has bad luck, that he's still alive,...and I am so ...' Before she went on this thought, she made up her mind and ran out again to fetch a pot of water. Two questions did not come to her mind yet: Why was Jesse here, of all places in the New Frontier? Who shot Jesse, the Outriders or the Star Sheriffs? Later, as she had cared about every of Jesse's injuries she finally put a blanket over him and sat down on a chair next to the sofa, where she had bedded him. Only the worry about Jesse filled her mind, she could not think of anything else than him and his tortured body. Exhaustedly she started to cry, whilst having her hand around his wrist to feel his pulse. After a while, Trista nearly fell asleep, Jesse suddenly groaned heavily. Immediately she was awake again and laid her hand on his forehead to check his temperature, but no fever has arose yet. "Jesse!" she whispered and again her brain started to work, commencing the time, they met the very first time. "We had wonderful times together" she whispered, "and I loved you so much. I can never forget this." She softly caressed his hair, which was spread over the pillow. "But then came April and I had o find out that she was the one you always desired. I was nothing else than a toy to you!" An angry look came to her face and she clenched her fist. "I was just a thing you needed for your poor plans!" The anger was now also in her voice and tears filled her eyes, but they did not fall. She grabbed into Jesse's hair, as if she wanted to hurt him. "Do you have the faintest idea, how long it took me to get over you?" she shouted at him. "Guess not!" Jesse did not recognize anything of what Trista was accusing him, he was in the deepest sleep he ever had. "I could not return to my family, I could not go to you and I couldn't also ask April to help. If I had, her presence would have remembered me every single day about you. I think I couldn't have stood it. Therefore I just had the two ways to go: to die or to live." A regrettable smile appeared on her lips and she loosened her grip. "Well, I decided to live, but in the first month it was worse than hell. Don't worry, I won't bother you with details. I guess, you're not interested in it anyway." She looked at him, but of course he still did not answer. His eyes rolled under his lids, as if he dreamt something horrorful, and his breath became faster. "And now you're suddenly here in my new life..." she closed softly and touched his arm to calm him down. It seemed to help, Jesse's breath normalized again after a moment and he feel again to a deeper level of sleep. 'So what am I to do now?' she asked herself. 'What do I really want?' *** It took her the whole night to find out. In the mood of anger and hatred she was thinking to kill him, to get rid of him for the rest of her life. Was it a good idea to bring him inside? Why shouldn't she let him just die? In the mood of love and sorrow she wanted to forgive him and start a new life, Jesse and she together. Maybe he had changed? Another possibility was to alert the Star Sheriffs. Or should she inform the Outriders? What next? In the end, as morning arose coldly and sunny, she did not know at all. She just knew, that she could kill him every time, as long as he was here, when she finally made up her mind. Indeed, she was not able to kill him, as long as she did not find out for sure, that she did not love him anymore. But all the strong feelings that occurred to her since last night, as she found him, made her doubting. At least she would not admit her real feelings at least towards herself. "So, the first thing, Jesse needs is professional help!" she concluded. But this was a problem - Trista had to go to the village and she had to leave Jesse alone with all his injuries. "Damn!" she sweared. "Damn! Damn! Damn! Why don't I have a communicator?" She looked over to Panyu, who was asleep. But she never had trained him as carrier pidgeon. Her eyes returned to Jesse again. Could she take the risk and go? 'If I hurry up and take the way through the mountains, I can make it in less than two days. If I don't pause, I will be even faster.' She was thinking about other solutions, but there were none acceptable to her. She could try to help her on her own, but her education regarding medicine was too bad, therefore she would not risk it. And the other problem was: winter came nearer and nearer and she had far too less food collected until now to feed two people. "Seems, I have no other choice than to go." She said loudly. She did not hesitate any longer, but prepared everything to leave soon. She put some more wood into the fireplace, fetched fresh water out of the runnel and stood it on a table next to Jesse together with a glass, just in case he woke up and felt thirsty. She also did not forget to place some nuts and berries next to the glass. Then she let Panyu out, because he would have eaten all the berries. The last thing she did was to put another blanket over Jesse to keep him warm, when the fire was down. Unfortunately she could not write a message, as she did not have any paper in her cabin. "Take care!" she whispered, touched his cheeks softly and set off, after she had grabbed her jacket. After 37 hours of pure running and concentration Trista exhaustedly reached the village. The way through the mountains was hard, because there was a lot of snow. She used a stick to find covered abysses and once she nearly was caught by an avalanche. Luckily it was full moon and therefore she could also walk during the night time. She immediately went to Chester, the older man she bought her supplies from. "Chester! I need your help!" "Trista! How come you're here?" He appeared from the stock room. "I expected you in roughly three months." "Something happened. I have a hurt man in my cabin, badly hurt. I urgently need a transport to the next hospital." she explained with a toneless voice. Chester looked irritated to Trista, but he understood that he better should hurry up. "I will call the hospital. Wait a second." Chester ran to the next room and contacted via hypercom the hospital in Taik Spring. As he returned he said: "They will come to my house, as I couldn't explain exactly where you live." Trista nodded tiredly. Chester offered her a chair and a hot coffee, which she took with thanks. Chester leaned to his counter and looked half worried, half irritated to Trista. "What happened, girl? Do you want to tell me?" Trista rose her head, and Chester could see the sorrow in her eyes. "I also do not exactly now. I just wanted to fetch some water - and found the man." She decided not to mention his name, it would cause too much trouble. In hospital she would also pretend not to know him. "He's unconscious" she explained. "There was so much blood..." Suddenly she started to cry as all the tension fell off from her. Chester came to her and laid his arms around her to calm her down. "You're a brave girl, Trista!" he said. "You acted in the right way and I'm sure, you saved his life." Twenty minutes later the shuttle arrived. "I'll keep you up to date" she called and waved as goodbye to Chester. Then the shuttle departed. Another forty minutes later the doctors landed in front of Trista's cabin. She had already informed the both about his injuries. They took the transportable bed and went to the cabin, Trista followed. Both doctors kneeled next to the sofa, checking his pulse, temperature and blood pressure. "He's alive" the younger one whispered, and Trista exhaled, recognizing, that she had held her breath since they had entered. The doctors went on with their examinations, whether the man was transportable and Trista extinguished the fire that was nearly out anyway. Then she checked everything else; she would accompany Jesse and leave her cabin for an uncertain time. As she was ready, Jesse had an infusion in his arm to stabilize his circulation and he was fixed into the transportable bed. Jesse's face was still extremely pale, but his cheeks were a little red due to the fever that had arose. "You saved his life." The younger doctor came to Trista and appreciatively touched her shoulder. "I will tell him, when he'll wake up. What's your name?" "I'll tell him by myself." she answered. "I'll come with you." The doctor looked surprised for a moment, but then nodded. "Yes" he said slowly, "maybe he needs someone, who takes care of him." He smiled at her and became serious again. "I'd really like to know, where he has these bad injuries from!" He removed his hand from Trista's shoulder and turned to the door. "Me too," Trista replied and followed him. *** In Taik Spring Trista found a small, cheap hotel managed by an elder married couple named Svensson. At least she could also manage to get a job as chambermaid in this hotel. As there were just ten rooms she had to clean, this was an easy job, and she also earned a little money. In the evening she also helped in the kitchen to clean the dishes. This was a traditional hotel, and the owners denied buying a dishwashing machine. Trista liked them very much, but it gnawed on her conscience, that she did not tell them her real name. Instead, Trista chose to change her name, because she was still persecuted by the cavalry command. Her new name was Susan Walker. Taik Spring was a famous place for hot springs. The volcanoes in this area were inactive for the last hundreds of years, but under the surface there was still enough heat. The water of the hot springs was very healthy due to its high content of sulphur; it could heal different diseases starting with rheumatism, arthritis and skin problems. When Trista finished her work, she spent most of her free time in hospital to visit Jesse. She sat long hours next to him, holding and petting his hand, whilst telling trivial things that happened during the day. Every time she left the hospital, she felt unsure about her feelings towards Jesse. Although she had every reason to hate him, she could not. She still was in love with him, but she would not admit it towards herself, at least not yet. More than two weeks later, Trista felt very depressive. The doctors could not tell her any news, and Jesse showed no intention to wake up. As she spent most of the time next to Jesse's bed, she also could not make new friends and was all alone with her problems. A few weeks ago she could deal with this very good, but now she missed somebody to talk to. 'But who can I call? Nelly? She would just kill me, if I'd call her after I disappeared into nowhere. My auntie? No way! April? She used to be my best friend, but she works at the cavalry command; I'm sure she would track my call and send somebody to catch me. I don't want this, although she's maybe the only one, who really understands me.' She sat down on a park bank, placed her arms on her knees and rested her head in her hands. The young woman was not aware of the cold wind that blew the last leaves off the trees, so deep were her thoughts. A few days she nearly was about to call April, and once she already had dialled the number of her former best friend. But before April could answer, Trista disconnected the line just in time. As Trista became like a daughter for the Svenssons during the last weeks, they also noticed Trista's pale face and worried expression. But whenever they tried to find out, what was bothering her, she became silent. After several trials of the Svenssons to reveal her secret, Trista at least admitted that she had problems, but she did not want to talk about. So, the Svenssons accepted this information and did not set her under pressure any longer. The next day, Trista went again to Jesse. Today she did not know what to tell him; therefore she just sat next to his bed and touched his arm, which was still bandaged. Suddenly he groaned and moved. Trista nearly screamed out loud and pulled back her hand immediately, because she did not have expected it. Her heart was running due to this shock and the adrenaline that shot through her veins made her feeling warm. Jesse slowly opened his steel blue eyes, fascinated and confused observed by his saviour. "Jesse?" she whispered. His head turned in her direction. "Who's there?" he asked with a rough voice. His vocal cords needed new training and his throat needed some fresh water. Trista stopped shortly. 'Did he say >who's thereHello?<' Trista repeated in her mind and made a step back. She was irritated by Jesse's behaviour. "Ehm...I'll get the doctor. Wait a moment, please" she said nervously and ran out of the room. During the examinations, Trista had to wait outside, but she did not have to wait long, until the doctor and his assistant left the room. "Is he okay?" Trista asked with a whispering voice. "Miss Walker" the doctor started, "I think it is better for you to leave now. We have to do some more examinations and will get the final results maybe the day after tomorrow. I cannot tell anything for sure now." Trista lowered her head in disappointment, but did not start an argument. "Okay, I'll come again." On Wednesday, a tired Trista went again to visit Jesse, after a never-ending day full of questions and confusion. Still she had no idea what she should say to Jesse, although she had been thinking about this since his awakening. She hesitated very long to enter as she stood in front of Jesse's room. Finally she made up her mind, knocked the door and the door slid aside. Jesse sat in his bed and looked up as the door opened. "Hello" Trista said, trying to keep her voice under control. "Hello" Jesse replied. "You must be my saviour, am I right?" He was in a bad mood, Trista could hear it. But she was not impressed by his unfriendly behaviour. "How are you?" she asked and came nearer to his bed. 'Seems as if he doesn't remember me.' she thought and felt somehow a little bit delighted. Jesse's head was still bandaged and his left leg plastered. "Why do you wanna know?" he replied in a cold tone, his eyes staring at a place far away behind her. "It's none of your business. Go away." "But..." "Didn't you listen? Or are you just stupid? I said: go away!" He became angry. "I never asked to rescue my life, do you know!" "And I never asked you to destroy mine" she murmured toneless and stood up off her chair. "What?" Jesse said surprised and frowned. "I said, I never asked you to destroy mine" she repeated a little bit louder than necessary. "Sorry for helping you, I have to go now." Just before she left the room he asked: "Trista?" Trista stopped immediately. "You are Trista, aren't you?" She turned again. Tears of anger and disappointment stood in her eyes. "Do I look that different that you don't remember me?" she sobbed. Jesse closed his mouth and a strange expression came to his face as he leaned back and turned his face away from Trista. "I don't know" he explained quietly. "I'm forever blind." There was complete silence for a few seconds. 'Blind?' she repeated in her thoughts. As she got the meaning of these words, she could also understand Jesse's reaction. He has always been independent, and now he would need help for every little thing he liked to do. She rushed to his bed, sat down again and grabbed his hand. "Jesse..." she began, but stopped, because she did not know, what to say. Still there were tears silently running down her cheeks. Jesse turned his head towards her, his eyes pointing at a place behind her. He moved his hand to her cheek, which he could find by moving his hand up at her arm. "Don't cry for me, sweetheart." A light smile came to his face; he once had used Trista for the Outrider plans and never had any feelings for her. But now he felt different. He was touched by her tears and worries and had a bad conscience because of what he did to her in the past. The doctor also had told him, that Miss Walker had been here nearly every day. "Why have you been helping me?" he asked softly. Trista had closed her eyes and enjoyed his touch. "Can't you imagine the reason?" "I wanna hear it." Trista did not worry, that cunning Jesse would trick her. The second time she was immediately under his spell the time she saw him. "I'm still in love with you" she admitted whispering. "Why did you even get me a new ID? Why did you have to change your name?" "I didn't want to loose you again" she replied, still eyes closed and leaning to his warm hand. She was melting like ice in his hands. "I was so afraid you would die. I am glad that you finally woke up and..." "I'm not" he interrupted. "I'm not safe, nowhere. The outriders are hunting me through the whole vapour zone and your dimension as well. The Star Sheriffs are also after me. I don't know where to hide." 'He never was so desperate' she noticed. "Now as a damn cripple I even cannot run away...It would have been the best, if I'd died." "Jesse! Don't say such a stupid thing!" Trista became angry. "I'm here, I can help you." Jesse looked at her with an amused and condescending smile. That little girl was still addicted to him. But this time he would not use Trista for his businesses. He did enough harm to this girl, and Jesse was tired of running away. "Nobody can help me" he replied coldly. "They'll catch me anyway. I think it is better for you to leave now, we won't meet again." Jesse pulled his hand back of her cheeks. "What are you trying to tell me?" Trista was upset. "Is this your thank you for all I did for you?" Suddenly the door knocked and the doctor came in accompanied by two people. Trista looked at them in surprise; there were Saber Rider and April standing right in front of her and Jesse. "What....does this mean?" she stammered. "I told the doctor my true name..." The End Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)