Eternal Melody   von Maya747
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                      Kapitel 1: Prologue ~ World Anthem
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Öh ... fragt mich bitte bloß nicht, warum ich das hier geschrieben hab <.<
Ich hatte gestern einfach Lust was aus Yoshikis Sicht zu schreiben und des kam
dabei raus v_v'. Wundert euch nicht, es ist auf Englisch XD.
Und zwar die erste Fanfic, die ich je auf Englisch geschrieben hab ... Kritik
ist höchsterwünscht ... Und wenn ihr Verbesserungsvorschläge in Sachen
Grammatik habt, freu ich mich drüber ^.^'. Bin gern bereit Vorschläge
anzunehmen (will ja mein Englisch ein bisschen aufpeppen ^_^).
Ich werde dem allgemeinen "Pairing"- Trend NICHT folgen, soviel sag ich schon
mal <.<
Vielleicht kommen noch irgendwann Sexszenen vor, dann aber nicht (!) zwischen
den X Mitgliedern ... also wartet da nicht drauf *hust*.

In der Fanfic geht's eigentlich nur um die Trennung von X ... Vielleicht lass
ich's auch noch weiter ausschweifen und beziehe 1998 auch noch mit ein (ist
wahrscheinlich) ... Vielleicht geh ich auch noch weiter ... Ich hab keine
Ahnung. Ich schreib das ja nur zum Spaß und ohne jegliche Planung. Ich hoffe es
hat vielleicht auch noch jemand Spaß beim Lesen ^_^'.
Mir jedenfalls hat der Schreibprozess heute die Schulzeit versüßt *hust* (Nie
wieder Chemie ab nächstem Jahr! *vor Freude umfall*. Ich werde bis zu den
Ferien nicht mehr aufpassen und nicht mehr mitschreiben! *muahaha* XD~~ Der
Lehrer existiert für mich ab heute nicht mehr XD-  Es gibt ja auch wichtigeres
in Chemie zu tun als aufzupassen XD.).

*

CHAPTER 1 - Prologue ~ World Anthem


There was only one thought left in my head. Between all this confusion, this
voice inside of me was calling: "Get out of here!". That's what I wanted to do
more than anything else. I was scared of staying here, fearing that his words
could take my breath away. I had the feeling of suffocating slowly and
painfully.
But instead of running away, I said: "It's okay." Nothing more.
Toshi still couldn't look at me, his eyes were fixating the white wall of the
hall behind me. His pupils seemed to tremble, his skin was white and his lips
looked like slim lines, which did not fit into his face.
It scared me to look at him.
For the first time in my whole life I felt nothing but fear while watching this
man, whom I used to called my best friend ... For thirty years now?
Suddenly pictures of the last sixteen years on stage appeared in my head. Images
of Toshi running around, shouting out to the audience, throwing himself into the
crowd, introducing one band-member after another, standing behind me while
playing the drums ... 
>And where are we now?< I thought, feeling a prick in the stomach.
He stood there like a statue, not able to raise his voice again, after telling
me he would leave the band. Our band.
Some minutes went by in which none of us did or said anything. I was numb and
could not move. I did not even want to do it anymore. I felt weak. 
I don't know for how long we had been standing there in total silence. But after
an eternity filled with nothing but confusion and sadness, he suddenly shook his
head a bit and sighed.
"I ... I'm sorry.", he whispered with a shaky voice. He sounded like a little
boy who said sorry for a trick he had played on someone or a window he had
broke.
It took some seconds until I even noticed he was speaking. I raised my look
again and for the first time today, he replied it. His eyes were wet. He got
folds, which I never saw before.
Surely he had cried much last night. Maybe he had been crying for some weeks or
months and I did not even realized it. I've been so busy ... Only looking after
myself and my work.
"It's okay.", I said again and this time it was nearly true. Nearly. I could not
understand what he was telling me. I didn't want him to say such things and I
was angry because he did.
"It was not easy to make this decision ... You know ... Yoshiki ... I know that
X means everything to you ... but ..."
>But what?"< I asked myself, not sure whether I should cry or laugh or just hit
him. If he really knew how much X meant to me, why did he want to destroy
everything we had built?
My mouth opened to say another "It's okay.", but no words came out. I
concentrated to hold back the tears.
"I'm so sorry." Toshi came over to me slowly. Like he was approaching a shy
animal which he didn't want to drive away.
Now it was me who could not stand his look.
I did not move and I did not want him to touch me.
Maybe he had wanted to lay his hand on my shoulder, but in some way he seemed to
feel my discomfort and so he just stopped in front of me and waited. We both
knew that nothing would happen, but we also both had no clue what we should do -
if not only wait for something to happen.
I took a deep breath to calm down a bit and swallowed the tears.
"What now ... What are you going to do?", I asked low, trying to cover up my
insecurity.
"I don't know ..." He crossed his hands behind his back, but I could see they
were shaking.
"Oh.", I said. He left the band, his whole life, me ... for nothing. I felt like
being in a bad dream. Or as if somebody has played a real macabre joke on me. As
if a boy stabbed his mother while she is sleeping, without any reason and with
the knowledge, that it won't influence his future in any positive way. It made
no sense.
My hands became fists. I bit my lower lip, hoping that the inner pain would go
away. 
Nothing in that way happened, I only got angrier. What was this man thinking?
Why did he spit on everything we reached? This had been our dream, now he told
me he didn't want this life anymore. I could have tried to understand, but he
didn't even got a reason! This was the fact which made my blood boil. At the
same time it offended me more than any other words which any other person ever
said to me.
He left the band and didn't tell me why. It was a nightmare. I wanted to wake
up. NOW!
"Yoshiki ..." He did not finish his sentence, I'm not even sure if he wanted to
tell me something and could not do it or if he only wanted to call my name. 
Anyway, he kept silent from that on. This was the last thing I heard him say
that day. And the next five months.

~

"Nice ... But please try it once more - with a bit more energy, okay?"
The small woman in the studio gave me a shy look and nodded. Then she sang the
passage again. No ... This was not what I expected. 
"Again, please.", I said and made some nervous scribbles on my sheet of paper. I
had been sitting here for almost nine hours in which I didn't eat anything and I
was tired. But I didn't want to leave until the song was recorded. I had been
working on it for almost two weeks now and it was only one song ...
I watched the singer, who was really trying to do everything in the way I asked
her for. But it was hard. Her curly brown hair hung tousled into her face. She
looked tired, too. 
"No ... No ..." I murmured and shook my head. She saw it and stopped singing
immediately.
I looked at her, surprised and also annoyed.
"Why do you stop?", I asked, being angry at my voice, which suddenly sounded so
aggressive.
She raised one shoulder, but then replied: "You don't like it ... I don't know
how you want me to sing it so that you like it ..."
"Just try it again.", I answered impatiently. 
"I ... I think that makes no sense ... I don't know what -"
"Did I speak that unclear?" 
"No, but -"
"So why don't you sing? You are a singer, aren't you?"
She did not reply anything, her eyes were wet. She turned her head away.
I did not have the nerves to care about her feelings. The whole thing made me
sick. 
"I'm pissed of!", I hissed and stood up with a fast movement. I grabbed my
cigarettes and left the room, slamming the door behind me.
That moment I already felt guilty for being so rude, but I needed a pause now.
Otherwise I'd become crazy in there. Nothing was the way I wanted it to be. I
hated it when recording sessions went like that. 
When I left the building, a cold wind brushed against my face. I wondered why
the temperatures had become so low the last week. It was only early autumn, the
beginning of September. I winced. It was the September 15th. Only one week
left.
The day I feared came closer and closer and I only wished it would stay away
forever. I could bury myself in work, but I could not chase the thoughts away,
which buzzed through my head the whole time.
What will the people say? How will the fans react? What will happen afterwards?
I was scared. So scared to disappoint somebody and also scared to bring it to an
end. I knew it was necessary, but this knowledge frightened me even more. It
made Toshis decision official ... Final.
I rummaged around in my pocket for a lighter. I didn't have one with me.
"Shit ..."
My body sank on the cold ground. I laid down my head on my knees and put my arms
over it. Only one week left, then it would all come to an end.
I had to declare the end of X, without knowing why.
I realised that I was crying just when I heard my tears falling down on the
street. 
Everything went wrong ... Terribly wrong. And I could not prevent it. My heart
broke the day Toshi told me he would leave, and all he left was loneliness. If I
could only turn back time ... I would have done everything to make him stay.
What did I do wrong? Was it my bossy behaviour, which made him wish he would
have never joined the band with me? 
My thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of my mobile phone. I was not in the
mood to answer phone calls. I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand, then
I pulled the phone out of my pants. When I looked at the display I felt
relieved. I knew that number.
So I picked up.
"Hi hide-chan.", I said, hoping my voice wouldn't break while I was talking.
"Are you okay? You don't sound good."
I wondered once again how much tact he had. He always knew it if I felt bad.
"No ... everything's all right.", I lied. Of course he noticed it.
"Liar! Let's meet and have a drink. Maybe that will put other thoughts into your
head. I can't take the responsibility for letting you work the whole night while
knowing you are sad ..."
"I don't know ... I've got to work ..."
"You can't work without being able to concentrate, can you? C'mon, that will do
you good. Better than hang around in that gloomy studio the whole night!"
"... Maybe you're right."
"No, I'm definitely right! I know that you know that!" He laughed one of his
sweet, innocent laughs and continued talking in a soft way. "We didn't see each
other for too long. I already worry a bit. I have to see you again."
"All right ..." I gave up. It made no sense to discuss with hide. He was right
and he knew that I knew that. Besides, I was tired of work and wanted to see
him, as well. He could make me smile even if I was totally down. This was what I
needed tonight.
"Same place as every time.", he said and I could imagine his grin just by
hearing him talk.
"See you.", I said with a weak but honest smile.
"See ya. And don't be late - if you aren't there in an hour I'll call your mama
and tell her, that you are still out and not in your bed!"
"What a pity.", I laughed and he laughed, too. It was refreshing.
"Bai bai, Yo-chan!", he called with excitement in his voice. Then I heard the
free-tone.
This was the shortest call I had ever had with hide, but it also was one of the
most pleasant. 
I interrupted the recording and apologised to Daughter for treating her so bad.
Then I took a short walk in the city.

~

When I arrived at the bar it was already 1:09 am.
Hide was sitting at the counter, talking to a young woman, who listened to him
carefully and laughed occasionally. In fact, she really hang on hips lips. The
excitement in her eyes was obvious.
I shrugged. I didn't expect he would stay alone for long. He used to fascinate
the people around him with his great sense of humour and his sweet charm. It
always swarmed with people who wanted to get to know him, wherever he went.
To my surprise, he noticed that I was entering the room and jumped off his chair
immediately.
He ran over to me with a big smile.
"Yo-chan!", he squealed and clapped his hands. I could not prevent laughing out
loud. He behaved just like a child, which expected to get a great gift the next
moment.
"Did you wait?", I asked and he nodded at once.
"What does one hour mean to you, heh?" He pointed at me with playing an
indignant accent to me.
"Euh ... 60 minutes!?"
"Exactly!" He came so close with his finger he nearly touched my nose. "60
minutes! And not ... mh ..." He stopped talking, looked at his watch, frowned,
looked at his watch again and then continued scolding: "103 minutes!"
"Sorry. I walked the whole way from the studio -"
"Why didn't you just take a taxi, idiot?" He sulked. "Then I wouldn't have had
to wait here for so long ... all alone."
"Euh ... hide ..." I pointed at the girl at the bar, who was watching us at a
loss. She did not seem to expect to meet hide and Yoshiki the same evening.
"Aaaah!" He hit his forehead with his flat hand. "Sakito ... I just met her
little time ago."
I raised one eyebrow.
"When?", I asked.
" ... Two hours ago." He giggled. "I'm sorry."
He turned away and ran to Sakito. He ordered her a drink and whispered something
into her ear, then he returned to me.
He managed to drag me over to an empty table. We sat down and just that moment a
waitress appeared out of nowhere with the speed of a flash of lightening.
She bowed so deep, that I thought she was trying to kiss the ground.
"Good evening ... It's an honour to have you here ...", she stammered.
Hide just laughed and blinked at me.
"What ... what do you want to order ...?", she asked. She was on the verge of a
nervous breakdown; she had problems to hold her notebook and pen.
I ordered a beer while hide studied the menu intensive.
"Hm ... hm ..." He turned his head aside and made a thoughtful face. I tried not
to giggle.
The waitress was watching him with sweat-pearls on her forehead. She looked as
if she was paralysed.
I smiled at her.
"No need to be nervous."
She laughed tormented. I feared she could collapse, but she only dropped her
pen. She blushed and picked it up hectically.
"A Lemon Tea."
She blinked.
Hide gave his brightest smile to her.
"I already had some drinks. I would like to have a Lemon Tea, please."
"O- of course!" She wrote it down as fast as she could. 
"Thank you.", she said, bowed again and fled to the counter. There she rushed to
the barkeeper and whispered something to him hysterically. He smiled and looked
at us, as if he wanted to say sorry for her conduct.
"She's sweet, don't you think?", hide asked me amusedly.
I shrugged. I could not find the situation funny anymore; my thoughts drifted
back to the problem which kept me busy through the last months and finally made
me come to this meeting.
"Hey ---" hide waved to me next to my face. "What's wrong?"
"It's just ...", I began the sentence, but decided not to finish it. He knew
what was wrong, so I did not have to tell him.
"Everything will be all right. There's no need to be frightened. Trust me!"
I gladly soaked up his words and carved them into my memory. Although I could
not believe him, I wanted to.
"Nobody will blame you.", hide added seriously.
" ... You're right ...", I said. I'm sure he was right. I would not be blamed.
Toshi would be. I disliked this thought even more. I always expected that I'd be
the one who would bring it to such a cruel end. But Toshi ...
"One beer and a Lemon Tea ..." The waitress had returned and placed the drinks
long-winded on the table with her shaky hands.
"Thaaaanx!", hide called out, immediately grabbing his cup of tea. As usual he
did not wait for it to cool down and burned his mouth.
"AAAAIIIIII!" He made a face and pushed the cup away. 
"Beer, pleeease!", he demanded. The waitress nodded a bit confused and hurried
to get back to the barkeeper.
"It's always the same!". I laughed and ran my fingers through my hair. Hide's
face became earnest again.
"We will be joining you there; you're not alone, remember that.", he said.
I was surprised how fast he could turn around 180 degrees. He could become
totally serious from one second to another.
"Yes ...", I sighed. "I know."
"Did you talk to Toshi?"
Silence.
I took a draught of my beer. Then I shook my head.
"Will he be there?"
"Yes ... I talked to his management. They told him ...."
I felt very unwell that moment. I did not want to talk or even think about
details of the disbanding. That would make me realise, that it would come to an
end soon. Or had already come.
"But I don't want him to join the concert.", I said bitter. "I definitely want
to do it, but I don't want him to sing."
"I know.", hide answered. He understood what I was feeling, like no one else
did.
"Let's talk about it another time.", he suggested and then took my beer and
drank a bit.
"Thanks." He sneered.
The waitress appeared at the table again and gave him the beer he ordered.
"Thanks.", I said smiling and took the bottle away from him.

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