supermarket
“Hey, hi!”
“Hey!”
Hector leaned on the trolley. “Weirdest thing, we were just talking about you.”
I laughed. “Oh, all nice, I hope. – Oh, sorry. Heck, this is Edie.”
“Edie.”
“Heck.”
“And Rachel.”
“Rachel.”
“Edie.”
“Luce?”
Oh my god, could this situation please turn into a little less strange one?
“Good. So Saturday shopping?”
“Is right.”
“Great, enjoy it. And, listen, thanks for dinner. We should definitely…”
“Definitely.” Rachel smiled. Sweet Mother Jesus.
“We will.”
“Okay. Well, have a nice rest of shop.”
“You too.”
Okay, get away, get away, get away… I had to distract Edie from I-don’t-know-what. She could smell it when I was falling for someone.
“So you’re going out tonight? ‘Cause I was thinking maybe I…”
“Wha-ho, pussycat, what the hell was going on there?”
“Remember that wedding? They’re the happy couple. And I had dinner with ‘em last night. Oh, and she tried to set me up with a guy named Cooper, who is Heck’s best friend… Coop is the kind of man who feels personally offended when you don’t want to shag him. But I don’t think him bad. I told Heck I am gay just in the moment Cooper came in which made the evening quite uncomfortable for him because Rachel was trying to give Coop a hint to seduce me and -”
Edie raised an eyebrow. “Try again - and stop talking about However-his-name-was.”
Damn. I sighed and threw some cookies in the trolley.
“You like her, am I right? I am right.” She crowed.
“I don’t like her, It’s just – “
“I can’t believe it! I’m trying to take you out and get you a love life since I-
have-no-idea-since-when and you fall for a women married to a guy? I mean -”
I couldn’t help laughing. “I know.”
“- I want to know every little bit, d’you hear me? Whoa, I can’t get this into my head. I mean she’s not just heterosexual, she’s like BARBIE heterosexual.”
There they were again.
“Whoa, oh, hey! How’re you doing? We were just talking about you this time.”
Thanks, Edie.
“Baby, we’ll be late for kick-off.”, Rachel said, smiling at Heck.
“Oh, there’s hours yet.” He grinned. “We support the same football-team.”
“Oh, how darling. Isn’t that darling?”
I was beginning to think that Edie tried to embarrass me as much as possible.
“Good, well, hope you win.” Yeah, and now LET’S GO…
“Edie, are you gay?”, Heck wanted to know immediately.
“Oh, God…” Rachel looked just as embarrassed as I felt a second ago.
“Am I gay? I’m ecstatic!”
“And are you two..?”
“No.”, I said quickly, preventing Edie’s Let’s-try-to-make-her-jealous-Mission, which I saw coming up.
“No, we’re not. I tried and I tried – but she loves another!”
So much for “preventing”.
“So, I’ll call you.”, I ended the conversation.
“Do, ‘cause we definitely-”
“Definitely.”
“We will.”
“We’re going that way.” Rachel pointed out.
“Yeah, bye again!” I pulled Edie with me.
“Bye…”
“Luce, she’s staring at you!”
“Great, Edie. Can we pay now?”
“Yeah, but she was staring at you when you left.”
“So what? People stare when they saw something weird, that’s normal.”
“But it wasn’t just a That-was-strange-Stare, it was more like a… Wow-Stare, you
know?”
“Edie!”
“What?”
“Let’s pay and get out of here.”
I turned the cart and she caught up with me. I pulled a face.
“And since when do you fancy me?”
“I don’t. But that doesn’t matter, because my Edie-special-making-her-jealous-
plan will work!”
I knew it.
“Edie, she’s married, and, as you said, like Barbie heterosexual.”
“Ah, who cares? Anyone can change teams.”
“That sounded like something Cooper could’ve said.”
We started to put our stuff on the till.
“Hi!” This was not going to stop EVER, was it?
Rachel turned around and laughed. “Hey.”
“Are you stalking us?”
I was tempted to say “She is”.
“Why would we do such a thing?”
“We’ll be at this till.”
“Waving!”
“We’ll wave back!” Heck waved.
“And do!”
“Because -”
“We must.”
“Definitely!”
They turned again.
“Edie?”
“Yeah?”
“Stop waving and help me.”
